Want a first date? Check the mirror first ...
I've had lots of first dates over the last few years. And you know what? I have plenty to say on the subject. Most of the dates were with Jewish women I met on-line (dating sites, chat rooms, etc.) or via a shidduch.
Now, want to know why you didn't get a second date? Remember, this is MY blog, my opinions, and so it is one sided. BUT, it is from a male point of view and you may want to learn something. And, even though the title of the blog is L''H, there will be no naming of names here.
Dating is an inborn ritual. We are looking for a mate to pass on our DNA. Just about every animal has a mating ritual and does this kind of stuff, we humans just make it more difficult. But that aside, it is an innate thing, we are looking for the best place to deposit our DNA (or, you are looking for the donation) and then we want to protect and grow with our investment. So, innately, we first go on looks. That is all that there is at first. Sure, we read profiles ("I like walks on the beach ..." blah, blah) but no one believes them. FOR FIRST IMPRESSIONS, looks are where it's at.
You don't have to be thin. You don't have to be "classically" beautiful. Here's an example, I am really turned on by Kathy Bates. She is a "big" woman, not really "pretty," BUT, and this is a big BUT (minor pun intended) she is happy and content with who she is. Hell, she has a NUDE scene in About Schmidt (stark raving naked, mind you!). What is the turn on? SHE IS COMFORTABLE WITH HERSELF, she feels good about who she is, and that comes through loud and clear. I'd love a date with her (providing she is Jewish, single, and likes guys).
I am on a date with a woman and it is obvious if she is comfortable with herself. Talking about your "weight problem" or so obviously trying to hide your body is such a turn off. IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR WEIGHT, then do something about it. If you are happy with yourself, then GREAT. I am not telling you to be skinny, I am saying that you have to be comfortable with yourself before I can be.
Unfortunately, in this world, more guys are looking for thin women. But there are thousands of websites dedicated to BBW's (Big Beautiful Women) (warning: most are 'adult' sites so don't go unless you are prepared). Those websites are there becuase there are guys that are turned on by such women.
BUT, AGAIN, if you are unhappy with your weight, and it is hurting your dating life, LOSE THE WEIGHT or come to grips with it. Sometimes you cannot lose the weight for whatever reason, then accept yourself.
So, to recap for you ...
Go look in the mirror. Preferably naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?
Fix it. Either physically or psychologically.
The bad news, if you want lots of first dates, be average or thinner. The good news, if you want quality dates, not just with losers who care how you look, then get to the look that makes you happy.
Next blog ... look at your fingernails. If they are chewed and raw, stay away from me.
Now, want to know why you didn't get a second date? Remember, this is MY blog, my opinions, and so it is one sided. BUT, it is from a male point of view and you may want to learn something. And, even though the title of the blog is L''H, there will be no naming of names here.
Dating is an inborn ritual. We are looking for a mate to pass on our DNA. Just about every animal has a mating ritual and does this kind of stuff, we humans just make it more difficult. But that aside, it is an innate thing, we are looking for the best place to deposit our DNA (or, you are looking for the donation) and then we want to protect and grow with our investment. So, innately, we first go on looks. That is all that there is at first. Sure, we read profiles ("I like walks on the beach ..." blah, blah) but no one believes them. FOR FIRST IMPRESSIONS, looks are where it's at.
You don't have to be thin. You don't have to be "classically" beautiful. Here's an example, I am really turned on by Kathy Bates. She is a "big" woman, not really "pretty," BUT, and this is a big BUT (minor pun intended) she is happy and content with who she is. Hell, she has a NUDE scene in About Schmidt (stark raving naked, mind you!). What is the turn on? SHE IS COMFORTABLE WITH HERSELF, she feels good about who she is, and that comes through loud and clear. I'd love a date with her (providing she is Jewish, single, and likes guys).
I am on a date with a woman and it is obvious if she is comfortable with herself. Talking about your "weight problem" or so obviously trying to hide your body is such a turn off. IF YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR WEIGHT, then do something about it. If you are happy with yourself, then GREAT. I am not telling you to be skinny, I am saying that you have to be comfortable with yourself before I can be.
Unfortunately, in this world, more guys are looking for thin women. But there are thousands of websites dedicated to BBW's (Big Beautiful Women) (warning: most are 'adult' sites so don't go unless you are prepared). Those websites are there becuase there are guys that are turned on by such women.
BUT, AGAIN, if you are unhappy with your weight, and it is hurting your dating life, LOSE THE WEIGHT or come to grips with it. Sometimes you cannot lose the weight for whatever reason, then accept yourself.
So, to recap for you ...
Go look in the mirror. Preferably naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you?
Fix it. Either physically or psychologically.
The bad news, if you want lots of first dates, be average or thinner. The good news, if you want quality dates, not just with losers who care how you look, then get to the look that makes you happy.
Next blog ... look at your fingernails. If they are chewed and raw, stay away from me.
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